I'm sorry

For every tear you shed I became drier inside

For every time I did not hear you I became more and more deaf

For every time someone hurt you I became more insensitive

For every time I stepped away from you I got further away from what made me human

For every time I looked away from you I became blinder

For every time I denied your scent I became more stale

For every word I refused to tell you I became more mute

For every feeling I kept inside I became more solid

For every caress I tried to give you I became more hardened

What can I do now since I am something that I cannot recognize. What have I done? I let go the best part of me which was you. Will you ever take me back? I'm sorry for all that I have done, I know I am late, but there is a part of me that is not dead. There is a heart that wants to beat for you. Will you ever take me back?

Love song

Head under water
And they tell me to breathe easy for a while
The breathing gets harder, even I know that
You made room for me, but it's too soon to see
If I'm happy in your hands
I'm unusually hard to hold on to

Blank stares at blank pages
No easy way to say this
You mean well, but you make this hard on me

I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you asked for it
'Cause you need one, you see
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you tell me it's make or breaking this
If you're on your way
I'm not gonna write you to stay
If all you have is leaving
I'mma need a better reason to write you a love song today
Today

I learned the hard way
That you say things you want to hear
My heavy heart sinks deep down under you
And your twisted words, your help just hurts
You are not what I thought you were
Hello to high and dry

Convinced me to please you
Made me think that I need this too
I'm trying to let you hear me as I am
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you asked for it
'Cause you need one, you see

I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you tell me it's make or breaking this
If you're on your way,
I'm not gonna write you to stay
If all you have is leaving

I'mma need a better reason to write you a love song today
Promise me you'll leave the light on
To help me see with daylight, my guide, gone

'Cause you need one, you see
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you tell me it's make or breaking this
If you're on your way
I'm not gonna write you to stay
If your heart is nowhere in it
I don't want it for a minute
Babe, I'll walk the seven seas
when I believe that there's a reason to
Write you a love song today
Today

I saw her in a dream (Thank God)

I've always been known to have a feable hart. Of that I'm sure, my closest friends always told me to go steady with just one girl, focus all my attention and thoughts on her.

Finally years after I managed to do so. Whether I'm walking the best path or not is not for me to say but for God and God alone.

Last night I had a dream though. They were both at my side, I didn't notice that, I was just sitting enjoying the view of a sun that was setting down, like a tired vagabond settling for a comfortable space.

At my right was my present, holding my hand, making plans, absorbing my presence. At my left was my impossible looking at me, I swear I could feel her musing trying to find out what was inside me. Her look could melt even the toughest component, ever since I met her I fell in love with that look, so impossible, so far, so not for me...

Suddenly my left whispers softly at me "I've been loving you for so long" and carefully kisses my cheek. I can't move, I'm frozen from the outside but from the inside feelings erupt, my heart is wrapped in an ecstasy my head has never known. Joy moves from my hair to my toes lighting all my senses, my fingertips sharpen, my eyes glow. But then awareness seizes me with the arms of a jealous lover "What about your right?" "She will see you and she will not like what she sees" "She has given all her life to you ! " I do not know what to do. My left goes away taking away my heart with a promise of return as soon as we meet again.

I need to leave, darkness is lurking everywhere, I do not want to be lost in this rapture anymore. I need an advice, I need someone to hear me out. I need direction. What am I to do now?. Fortunately or unfortunately it was all a dream. But as soon as I woke up I knew that my right and my left are real. I know how my right feels for me. But what about my left? What if ? What if? I'm so lost God...

Ya llego el año nuevo..Y que vas a hacer?

A poco no es, tipica esa pregunta? Un año nuevo amerita planes y objetivos pero desafortunadamente ya es más común escuchar a la gente decir "no planeo nada". En cierta manera es lo más facil, no planeas para asi no presionarte o no llegar al fin de año desilusionado porque no se cumplio lo que te habias propuesto. Pero este año que comienza mis queridos lectores (o sea 2 ja ja) hay que planear, la planeacion es una caracteristica unica de nuestra especie ¿Por que no ejercerla? La planeacion le da sentido a nuestras vidas, es como las velas de un barco, hay que orientarlas antes de empezar el viaje si no navegaremos a sabra Dios donde. Recordar tus objetivos cada dia cuando te levantas le dan a tu vida sentido, orientar tus esfuerzos es siempre más productivo. Bueno, basta !! Me duele el cerebro de tanta meditacion !! Les recomiendo ver la movie de Charlie Bartlett, les va a dejar un buen sabor de boca y entenderan porque a veces somos como somos. Adieu !!

Fin del inferno

Inferno? Oh si, no hay otra manera de llamar este semestre que se acabo. Trabajos y más trabajos de la universidad, mi trabajo en el colegio del averno con niños consentidos que creen que pueden hacerlo todo sin consecuencias, que no respetan a la autoridad ahhhh. Pues gracias a Dios me corrieron de ahi, porque no podia con la disciplina. Obviooo quien puede disciplinar a 50 niños de esas caracteristicas? Y echale a la mezcla un coordinador ausente, que solo se aparecia para amenazarme, la verdad es que cada dia me levantaba con un gran pesar a hacer lo que más me gusta en el mundo !! Eso no era vida y se estaba demostrando, a donde quiera que iba me decian que me veia medio apagado y triste, la verdad es que si. En fin sali vivo grazie a Dio, si no hubiera sido por su amor y mi fe, no se donde estaria. Tengo mucho que agradecer, la verdad es que este año no ha sido facil, pero ahi vamos...

For you dad...

Tough, you think you've got the stuff

You're telling me and anyone

You're hard enough

You don't have to put up a fight

You don't have to always be right

Let me take some of the punches

For you tonight

Listen to me now

I need to let you know

You don't have to go it alone

And it's you when I look in the mirror

And it's you when I don't pick up the phone

Sometimes you can't make it on your own

We fight all the time

You and I... that's alright

We're the same soul

I don't need... I don't need to hear you say

That if we weren't so alike

You'd like me a whole lot more

I know that we don't talk

I'm sick of it all

Can you hear me when I Sing,

you're the reason I sing

You're the reason why the opera is in me

Where are we now?

I've got to let you know

A house still doesn't make a home

Don't leave me here alone

And it's you when I look in the mirror

And it's you that makes it hard to let go

Sometimes you can't make it on your

best you can do is to fake it

What's left of me

Watched my life pass me by
in the rearview mirror
Pictures frozen in time
are becoming clearer
I don't wanna waste another day
stuck in the shadow of my mistakes

Cause I want you
and I feel you
crawling underneath my skin
Like a hunger, like a burnin
to find a place I've never been

Now I'm broken, and I'm faded
I'm half the man I thought I would be
But you can have
what's left of me.

I've been dying inside
little by little
Nowhere to go
I'm goin outta my mind
An endless circle
runnin from myself until
You gave me a reason for standing still

And I want you
and I feel you
crawling underneath my skin
Like a hunger, like a burnin
to find the place I've never been

Now I'm broken, and I'm faded
I'm half the man I thought I would be
But you can have
what's left of me.

Fallin' faster
barely breathing
Give me somethin to believe in
Tell me it's not all in my head
Take what's left of this man
Make me whole once again

I've been dying inside you see
I'm goin outta my mind
I'm just runnin' in circles all the time
Will you take what's left? of me

Take what's left of me